The illusion of being bad
Hello soulful ones,
Today I want to discuss with you one of the most damaging, concerning, and prevalent roadblocks that gets in the way of our authenticity, unfiltered joy and spiritual liberation.
And that is the (often unconscious) fear that you are, somehow, "bad." I know VERY few people who are not controlled and harmed by this false belief at some point in their life, but especially people who experience extreme trauma. This belief can be so subtle, you don't even know it's why behave the way you do. (Sometimes it's the subtle, unconscious beliefs that do the most damage).
In order to understand this, we must look at the difference between original sin & original purity.
A system that wants to control you will tell you in subtle, insidious ways that you are a bad person. selfish. ungrateful. lazy. untrustworthy (insert your own narrative here). Many of us are taught at a young age about original sin, that we are born into this world with the urge to do harmful things and we must repress our natural desires and/or repent. Think about it- if you grow up in this system of shame, are you not more easily manipulated and controlled because you have been stripped of your power to trust yourself?
A loving system, on the other hand, will remind you of your innate, internal goodness. A goodness and innocence that we are all born with, that we can all come back to. This is a system that will empower you and support your freedom. This is what the Buddha teaches, the concept of original purity, that we are all born pure in nature 👁🥲❤️
MOST OF US carry around some internalized version of the first story, an unconscious fear/weight that we are not good. This is true regardless of your religious upbringing. (I grew up hardcore atheist and still soaked this up via different indoctrinations). Sometimes we learn it through traumatic events. And even with the most excellent parenting, as children, we grow up learning that to be accepted, we must be "good" and not "bad."
In adulthood, this translates into holding back our authentic nature, people pleasing, being overly worried about everyone else and then feeling resentful when our needs aren't met. We feel often feel GUILTY. We are not direct and honest because we don't want to "hurt people's feelings" (and yet, not being honest with someone is often more harmful in the long run. This is what I call an inefficient energy system, folx).
We don’t let ourselves be free, because we don't trust what we would do or who we would be if we were actually free.
This one of the biggest tragedies and illusions I see in our society, and I have wept an ocean of tears seeing-clearly how much we don't just let ourselves be free. It's one of the motivating reasons I do the work I do, because I see that this is not the truth of our existence, and we are actually capable and deserving of so. much. more.
In addition, it's also a VERY inefficient human system. If we were all free to be, we wouldn't have chaos and violence. We would have freedom! We would have neutrality. We would have maturity. We would have healing, and with healing comes love. We would have respect, because when people respect our choices, we respect theirs. We would be very efficient with our energy (which, I believe, is one my specialities).
More than anything else, I want you to remember that you are a good person, that at your core you are love, you are awakened. (I use the word remember, because you know this on an inherent level).
If you want to learn more about how you can begin to liberate yourself from the false story that you are bad, so that you can POWERFULLY live from your true, fearless, loving Self, I speak about this more on my instagram here.
In love and power,
Eva